so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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