You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
