? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
