im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
