Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
