i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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