The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
