I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
