is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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