You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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