Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
