I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The air was thick with penises
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
