Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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