i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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