what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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