no, he came in my armpit
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
