i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
