I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
