he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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