the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize