I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
