Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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