so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
