THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
