Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
