I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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