My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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