We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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