Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
