Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize