woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
