his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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