Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize