benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
