ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
