Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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