HIV tests are more positive than that guy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize