i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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