if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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