there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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