dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
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