Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
