FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
