Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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