she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
In America we eat man semen.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
