didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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