you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
