You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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