Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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