But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
