you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
