I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
