next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I party with great urgency now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
