HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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