; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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