I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
