Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
