oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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