your room smells of hookers.
And success
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
