I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
