awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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