Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize