There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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