The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize