I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
