Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
