Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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