ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
