Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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