I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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