On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
