I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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